The Quiet Side of Social Inclusion and Belonging: How It Lasts Beyond the Moment

The Quiet Side of Social Inclusion and Belonging: How It Lasts Beyond the Moment

A Quick Heads-Up

Before we start—this isn’t a “poor me” post. My life’s good. I’m happy. But I want to give you a peek into something that’s hard to imagine if you’ve never lived it.

It’s about those quiet, behind-the-eyes moments when you realise the world around you is doing one thing… and you’re standing on the outside of it.

And before you think I’m about to tell everyone to stop being happy—nope. Please keep being excited about your weekends, Christmas plans, family BBQs, and all the fun stuff. No one should hide their joy in case it makes someone else feel bad.

This is just about understanding a different perspective—one that most people never even see.

The Conversations You Don’t Join (But Still Feel)

Picture this: it’s Monday morning. Someone says the usual,“So, what’d you get up to on the weekend?”

If you’ve got nothing to say—no party, no trip, no social anything—what do you do?You probably laugh it off or give a quick answer… but your brain is doing its own little audit:

• “Wow… everyone else seems to have a life.”

• “I can’t add anything here without being a downer.”

• “I hope they don’t think I’m boring or unlikable.”

  
  

Sometimes this all happens silently. Nobody around you would even know. But you feel it. It’s that tiny reminder that your world doesn’t line up with everyone else’s.

Christmas can be the same. Everyone’s buzzing about family, food, and presents—and if you’re not into it, people tend to treat you like a grinch. The awkward part isn’t being left out—it’s the well-meaning people who try to pull you in, offering pity invites or looking at you like something must be wrong if you’re not celebrating.

Sometimes, all you want is to let the day pass quietly without the social guilt trip.

When I was younger, I found my “socially acceptable” escape: working Christmas Day. Not because I was miserable—I actually preferred it. It gave me a ready-made answer:

“What are you doing for Christmas?”“I’m working.”

No pity. No awkward pause. No need to explain why the day just isn’t a big deal for me.

It’s funny how a simple story can let you feel like you still fit into the wider world.

And that’s where acceptance and inclusion need balance. Including someone doesn’t always mean pulling them into every activity or tradition. Sometimes real inclusion is simply respecting their choice—whether that’s joining in, sitting quietly on the edge, or spending the day their own way.

Where This Connects to Social Inclusion and Belonging

This is the stuff I think about with the teens and young adults in my programs.

Inclusion isn’t just:

• “Were they there?”

• “Did they join the activity?”

  
  

Real social inclusion and belonging is about what they carry away with them.

For some of my guys, that Friday night session might be their whole weekend highlight.

• They might sit quietly with headphones for half the night.

• They might only join in for a bit.

• But when someone asks, “What did you get up to?”—they’ve got an answer.

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Even if they never say it out loud, there’s an internal shift:“I did something. I belong. My life lines up with the world a little more.”

And for some of my non-verbal participants—I often wonder how much they notice this too. I reckon a lot. You can see it in the way they settle into the space. Even just being there beats sitting home alone.

The Ripple Effect of Social Inclusion

Inclusion doesn’t stop when the lights go out or the session ends.

It echoes into the next day, the next week, the next casual chat. It gives people a little armour against that “less than” self-talk.

And that’s the magic of what we do—it’s not just about an activity or a game. It’s about giving someone a story they can own, a moment where their life feels a little more in sync with everyone else’s.

That’s real social inclusion and belonging.And its impact lasts way beyond the room.

Want to Experience It First-Hand?

If you or someone you support is looking for fun, inclusive programs that make a difference beyond the activity itself, check out our sessions here and see the ripple effect for yourself.